What does it really mean for me to be lonely???
You know, its not often that I write something personal about how I am feeling. But right now I suddenly feel incredibly lonely. That is not to say the I am alone. My daughter is out back playing in her new little play area that my wife made today. My wife is downstairs doing some sort of clean up. But right this minute I feel like the rest of the world is a million miles away. What is even more odd is that I even know why I feel this way.
I have come to understand that a person cannot always talk about what is bothering them with their loved ones. Primarily because the thing that is bothering them may cause the loved one some sort of pain be it mental, physical, or emotional.
Let me give you an example.
Say you have a crazy dream that involves someone you were formally involved with before you were married. In it, you re-live some dramatic painful event. You wake up and are again as emotionally destroyed as you were when it originally happened. You can't discuss this with your wife or significant other because then they feel that you are still attached is some emotional way to this old flame, making this crappy dream into a reality nightmare as you possibly have to spend days trying to convince whomever you are with that this dream was just a dream. Powerful and emotionally draining but having nothing to do with your current love. Yes this dream actually happened to me and no I did not discuss this with my wife. This did not happen recently but it is a real example.
Another example would be when something is bothering you and you yourself cannot figure out what it is. If you tell a loved one that you don't know what is bothering you then that person nine out of ten times will assume that it is something about them that is the problem and will start an inquisition type question and answer session that always ends with you being made to feel even worse then when this thing started bothering you, whatever it was.
Right now, something is bothering me but I can't really put my finger on it. I feel a little distant from my family as well as myself. I have no real problems with my life right now. Things are actually going very well. I enjoy my job. I golf on a regular schedule. My family is safe and sound. My friend Tim and I are putting a band together and that is something I have wanted to again for a long time.
So what is bothering me?
I don't know and have a feeling I will wake up in the morning and everything will be fine.
But right this minute and most likely for the rest of the night, I am so lonely I could just shit.
But at least today I am giving myself something to think about that's about myself.
Sometimes you just have to be introspective.
-CHefdino-
You know, its not often that I write something personal about how I am feeling. But right now I suddenly feel incredibly lonely. That is not to say the I am alone. My daughter is out back playing in her new little play area that my wife made today. My wife is downstairs doing some sort of clean up. But right this minute I feel like the rest of the world is a million miles away. What is even more odd is that I even know why I feel this way.
I have come to understand that a person cannot always talk about what is bothering them with their loved ones. Primarily because the thing that is bothering them may cause the loved one some sort of pain be it mental, physical, or emotional.
Let me give you an example.
Say you have a crazy dream that involves someone you were formally involved with before you were married. In it, you re-live some dramatic painful event. You wake up and are again as emotionally destroyed as you were when it originally happened. You can't discuss this with your wife or significant other because then they feel that you are still attached is some emotional way to this old flame, making this crappy dream into a reality nightmare as you possibly have to spend days trying to convince whomever you are with that this dream was just a dream. Powerful and emotionally draining but having nothing to do with your current love. Yes this dream actually happened to me and no I did not discuss this with my wife. This did not happen recently but it is a real example.
Another example would be when something is bothering you and you yourself cannot figure out what it is. If you tell a loved one that you don't know what is bothering you then that person nine out of ten times will assume that it is something about them that is the problem and will start an inquisition type question and answer session that always ends with you being made to feel even worse then when this thing started bothering you, whatever it was.
Right now, something is bothering me but I can't really put my finger on it. I feel a little distant from my family as well as myself. I have no real problems with my life right now. Things are actually going very well. I enjoy my job. I golf on a regular schedule. My family is safe and sound. My friend Tim and I are putting a band together and that is something I have wanted to again for a long time.
So what is bothering me?
I don't know and have a feeling I will wake up in the morning and everything will be fine.
But right this minute and most likely for the rest of the night, I am so lonely I could just shit.
But at least today I am giving myself something to think about that's about myself.
Sometimes you just have to be introspective.
-CHefdino-
posted by dino at 4:04 PM
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