What does it really mean for me to be lonely???


You know, its not often that I write something personal about how I am feeling. But right now I suddenly feel incredibly lonely. That is not to say the I am alone. My daughter is out back playing in her new little play area that my wife made today. My wife is downstairs doing some sort of clean up. But right this minute I feel like the rest of the world is a million miles away. What is even more odd is that I even know why I feel this way.

I have come to understand that a person cannot always talk about what is bothering them with their loved ones. Primarily because the thing that is bothering them may cause the loved one some sort of pain be it mental, physical, or emotional.

Let me give you an example.

Say you have a crazy dream that involves someone you were formally involved with before you were married. In it, you re-live some dramatic painful event. You wake up and are again as emotionally destroyed as you were when it originally happened. You can't discuss this with your wife or significant other because then they feel that you are still attached is some emotional way to this old flame, making this crappy dream into a reality nightmare as you possibly have to spend days trying to convince whomever you are with that this dream was just a dream. Powerful and emotionally draining but having nothing to do with your current love. Yes this dream actually happened to me and no I did not discuss this with my wife. This did not happen recently but it is a real example.

Another example would be when something is bothering you and you yourself cannot figure out what it is. If you tell a loved one that you don't know what is bothering you then that person nine out of ten times will assume that it is something about them that is the problem and will start an inquisition type question and answer session that always ends with you being made to feel even worse then when this thing started bothering you, whatever it was.

Right now, something is bothering me but I can't really put my finger on it. I feel a little distant from my family as well as myself. I have no real problems with my life right now. Things are actually going very well. I enjoy my job. I golf on a regular schedule. My family is safe and sound. My friend Tim and I are putting a band together and that is something I have wanted to again for a long time.

So what is bothering me?

I don't know and have a feeling I will wake up in the morning and everything will be fine.

But right this minute and most likely for the rest of the night, I am so lonely I could just shit.

But at least today I am giving myself something to think about that's about myself.

Sometimes you just have to be introspective.

-CHefdino-

A Knight of the KKK speaking to a Black God in Spanish.

This made me think about how I look at racism and who is a racist. I hope it moves you like it moved me.

-CHefdino-

P.S. This was reprinted without anyone's permission. I found it on 3 different sites and none claimed it as original.


You call me "Cracker", "Honkey", "Whitey" and you think it's OK.But when I call you Kike, Towelhead, WOP, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Gook, nigger or Chink you call me a racist.
You have the United Negro College Fund.
You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Black History Month.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Yom Hashoah.
You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.
You have the NAACP.
You have BET.
If we had WET(white entertainment television) ...we'd be racists.
If we had a White Pride Day... you would call us racists.
If we had white history month... we'd be racists.
If we had an organization for only whites to "advance" our lives... we'd be racists.
If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships...you know we'd be racists.
In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights...you would call us racists.
Did you know that some high school students decided to make a club for only the white students because the other ethnicities had them... they all got sent to court for being rasist but the african-american, latino, and asia clubs were not even questioned.
You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride, you call us racists.

I am white.
I am proud.-that doesn't mean that I hate others.
But, you call that racist.

Why is it that only whites can be racists?

-Apparently anonymous-


What a profound question. Do you know the answer????

Think about it

-CHefdino-

When its Mothers Day you have to post something about your Mother

So this is my mother. As well as my father and daughter. I could spend hours writing the praises of my mother and all she has done for me. From being my original cooking instructor to showing me how to truly handle adversity to just about everything in-between. I can not say enough about her.

So I will just say " Thank you for being you. "


Happy Mothers Day Mom.

I love you.

p.s. hope your guys trip to Spain( They should be getting back today) was great.

-CHefdino-

Trying to find a picture of my wife to put in my blog turned this up.


Ok, so today is Mother's Day and I just spent an hour going thru our digital photos to find a picture to put with the title of my wife and my daughter's mother.( I mean it is Mothers Day) Once I started this task I realized just how few pictures of my wife I have. Now like a lot of women I know, she does not like to have her picture taken. ( Unlike my daughter and myself who based on the pictures I have just gone thru love to look at ourselves.) Now, I am proud to have a wife like mine. I love the way she smiles, looks, talks, and acts. (pretty thick huh??) I apparently just don't pay any attention to her or enough attention to realize that we are not taking any pictures of her.

So now I am on a mission. I want more pictures of my wife. So from now on I am going to be a complete shutterbug when it comes to her whether she likes it or not.

Oh yeah, its Mothers Day. Its not about what I want.

Well, maybe no pictures today.

But someday.

If my wife will let me.

Happy Mothers Day Kat.


-CHefdino-

Teaching honor and character has to start at an early age.

This is a picture of my daughter and I last evening at the country club of which my family and I are members. This is the first time my daughter has ever been on a golf course and I wanted it to be special to her. We have played a "modified" version of Putt-putt in our home on more then a few occasions but this is her first time actually touching the grass on real golf green. She was so excited the night before when I told her we would be doing this. She said " I am going to play golf balls with Daddy??? YEAH!!! GOLF BALLS!!!" Of course, I just melted. My daughter wants to golf. And this Daddy wants to make sure that I teach her the most important parts of the game. No its not a grip or a way to swing the club. Its not the love of the outdoors. Its the honor and integrity that is missing in so many other things in life that only golf has taught me.

You see in golf you don't really compete against other people. Its you versus the golf course. Other players don't block your shots, or scream when your putting, or do any other thing to distract you while your playing. ( Unless your actually just partying on the golf course and that's another story) Its just you and your mind trying to get the lowest score you can. The rules are self imposed and self judged. And that's where honor and integrity come in. You the golfer set the standards for how you follow the rules. Most players don't really follow the rules in golf. When your golfing with people you can tell a lot about them by how they "Interpret" the rules for themselves. My goal for my daughter is not the low handicap but the high integrity of what golf is supposed to be. In other words I hope my daughter doesn't "Interpret" anything but instead has the integrity and self imposed honor to "Follow" the rules as she knows them to the best of her abilities.

You see its not about how she does this in golf. Its about how she does this in life that will define her.

And that is part of what being a parent is supposed to be about.


Oh, and lets not forget that some rules are made to be broken. You see, ten minutes after I took this picture I think my daughter decided that she had had enough of "Golf Balls" and wanted to ride around in the golf cart chasing after some deer we saw on the ninth hole.

So much for my daughter and golf.

Well, its not about the game but the lessons learned. And I just learned my daughter would rather play then take lessons.

-CHefdino-

Solutions to the latest Complaints about Immigration.

So after I read several other blogs relating to immigration issues and wrote my latest blog in relation to immigration I realized all of the blogs including my own had one thing in common.

NO ONE OFFERED ANY SOLUTIONS.

So here is my list of "Real" solutions. "Real" meaning implementable and having a quantifiable impact on illegal immigration as we currently know it.

1. Make millions of easily obtainable work visas available to all qualified applicants from South and Central America. To qualify you must submit to a background check and pay a fee of no less then $500.00 to pay for this check and administrative fees. Why $500.oo?? Because the people that bring illegals across the border(called Coyote's) charge at least this to do it. If its easy to come it will minimize the trade in illegals that exists on a massive scale now. It also shows that the person has the ability to get some money. Anyone with a criminal record will be declined and labeled an "Illegal". We don't want the trash in like Castro did when he sent over criminals and the insane in the 1980's.

2. All now qualified applicants will be expected to pay taxes immediately on any jobs that they acquire while in the U.S. of A. There is no tax holiday. Any legal immigrant found not paying taxes is immediately deported with no option on return. Any now illegal who returns to the U.S. of A. will be shot. Period. No options. No trials. No excuses. Only legal residences and citizens are entitled to a trial or the protection of the law. Seem harsh??? Good. If you are not afraid of the consequences why would you follow the rules??? We spend tax money on border patrols so illegals can cross the border as often as they like once we deport them. This would make the traffic across the border trickle to almost nothing.

3. Any company found knowingly hiring illegals will have all assests seized and sold at auction. No second chances. No option on appeal. Any moneys from this will be used to combat the illegal trade as well as subsidize the cost of implementing this plan. Seize a couple of major companies assests and see who hires the illegal.

4. Any legal joining the US military for a term of 4 years or more would be granted citizenship at the end of their tour of duty.


5. All legal transactions within the U.S. of A. must be done in the English language. All others are not enforceable.

6. To gain citizenship you must not only follow the current guidelines but you must also show a strong understanding and ability to use the English language. You do not have to have a strong written knowledge as many do not have any kind of scholastic background. But you must "effectively communicate in the English language."

7. Any child born here is a US citizen. But your parents may not be. The child may return at anytime but the parents and child will be deported. All rules apply to the parents that currently exist with no execptions.



These rules may seem harsh and they are. But the object is to acclimate people into our society. Not create a new one. We saw huge influxes of Italians, Irish, Spanish, Portuguese, and German peoples as well as Asians of from many countries in the last century. Now almost all of these families speak primarily English and have been since generation one. Today we dont call them Italians or Irish or Portuguese. We call them Americans. Maybe some say Asian-American or Italian-American. So whats wrong with being a Latino-American. We at least call ourselves Americans. As does the rest of the world.

Ask a first generation Vietnamese person if he should speak English and he will tell you in well spoken English " WHy you asking such a stupid question??"

And that is really the point isn't it??

"WHY ARE WE HAVING TO ASK SUCH STUPID QUESTIONS AND COME UP WITH EVEN STUPIDER ANSWERS???"

I hope we really do think about this one.

-CHefdino-

Issues with Immigration.


So today I got into what I would call a "Discussion" with a Hispanic friend of mine. The gist of what he was trying to imply was that currently, the U.S. of A. survives on the backs of the Hispanic immigrant illegal or legal and that "They" feel that we owe them something or that "They" are entitled to something because , and I quote " Even Black people wont do what we are willing to do to get ahead and get out of the situations that we are in in Mexico and South America."

Lets not get into the Black reference at this time. Lets just look at this gentleman's major observation in the sentence that I quoted. "...to get ahead and get out of the situations that we are in in Mexico and South America." is the part I went off on.

Why would the U.S. of A. owe anyone anything for providing a better living situation then the situation that individual was in prior to coming to America??? How does crossing our borders so "they" can have a better way of life entitled "them" to anything except what they are getting??? "they" are finding jobs and places to live as well as using the roads, social services like schools and hospitals, and the protection of the police and fire services that apparently "they " don't receive in the home country. ( Yes I am aware that INS as well as other police forces come and run stings. Of course this effects less then .001 percent of the illegals in this country so its really not an issue) And are allowed to press for citizenship though legal channels.

SO WHAT THE HELL IS THE BITCHEN ABOUT???????

I say that complaining illegals (NOT ALL ILLEGALS) as well as most of America's current citizenry have something in common.

YOU BOTH WANT RIGHTS THAT YOU DID NOT EARN AND ARE NOT WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE FOR.

So sit down, shut up, and quit your complaining. You are only to entitled to what you earn and you ain't earned shit.

Think about it.

-Chefdino-

Proud first generation American.