The Definition of Class.

Recently I have been reviewing some photos I took over the last year and this one had to be shown and explained. The Lady in this picture( and I mean Lady) is a very dear friend of mine as well as the mother of one of my best friends. I have known her since I was 12 years old. From that very first meeting, she was and always will be the best example of Class I have ever known.

So how do you define Class??? Well, if you know this woman, I would not need to define the word. However since I am sure most don't here is how I would define the word:

Elegant in all situations including adversity.

Patient with all people until patient one can no longer be.

Selfless giving.

Unconditional love granted without any expectation of return.

Humble and yet proud.

Intellect and common sense with an ability to use it to help others and the desire to do just that.

These are the things that I group together to explain class. Now in this picture this Lady is handing out Christmas presents to all the kids at her home. Half are her grandkids. The other half are friends kids. Yet while she was doing this all the children were hers. I know. I watched her hand each one out and saw the smile that never left her face as well or the faces of the kids who received her gifts. She did not single any one child for special attention and not one kid felt like she had. She did not in any way have to do any of this. Half these kids had nothing to do with her or her family. But this Lady had never missed an opportunity to do the right thing or better yet exceed what we would call the right thing without thought or need of anything in return.

CLASS. PURE AND SIMPLE.

Thank you for all the gifts you have given me through out my life lovely Lady. I am by no stretch of the word a man of class. But maybe, just maybe because of your example, I can teach my children what that means. And hope that they "Get it" like you do.

Your "Other Son".

-CHefdino-

don't you love when a picture you find brings back all kinds of memories??



This picture was taken somewhere along the Santa Cruz beach area in the spring of 1978. I was 8 years old. In front of me somewhere in that water is a basket style crab trap stuck amongst the rocks and as any eight year old will try to explain "We got to get it unstuck!!". I distinctly remember this entire time frame and specifically this trip itself. No, not like it was yesterday. But pretty damn close. I know what time of day, the weather, who was there, what everyone was wearing, and why we were there. And no it was not to catch crabs. ( I wouldn't do that until I met a little Asian girl 9 years later but I haven't decided whether I will post that story or not yet) The why of this trip doesn't matter. Its all about the memories that come with it.

When this picture takes place I only got to see my mother maybe once a day for about an hour or two. You see my father was a sailor serving in Japan at this time. We were very poor. How poor? I couldn't tell you. I can tell you that my mother worked two minimum wage full time jobs at two separate McDonald's in San Jose, California just to make the rent on the house my brother, sister, mom and myself lived in. Two doors down from the house we lived in for two years lived the head of a Hispanic gang. His name was Henry Gozales and the gang was "Los Locos de San Jose". You could call the part of San Jose we lived in a Barrio. At the time I called it home and it felt like it. I did not know we were poor. I was very well loved, always had good tasting food on the table( my mother not only was a hard worker, she could take garbage and make a meatloaf out of it and you would never know it wasn't beef pate) an immaculately clean home and clean clothes on my back. We played outside when the sun was up and stayed inside at night. While my mother was at work, for a short time my sister would watch me but most of the time during this two year period my brother really raised me. For what it is worth, he was the best father a 12 year old could be to a eight year old. A better father figure then most adults I know to tell the truth. However this is not about my upbringing or the quality of parenting I received( damn good if you want to know) it is about the strength of memories.

I am now a father with a family of my own. I really don't think about my childhood that much because I have the here and now that is happening occupying my thoughts most of the time. Except right now. Right now I am an eight year old boy playing on a seawall watching my mother eat lapaz (one shell limpits that live on the rocks) as my brother stands fishing 5 feet away. I am wondering what we are going to do if we get this crab trap unstuck and what is that smell coming from the rocks right below me. I am wondering if Kristin in my second grade class is ever going to let me hold her hand or if Kurt is going to let me go over to his house on the other side of town near the Lucky's grocery store and play in his pool with the rich kids.

For a short time what I am not is a 30 something father and husband worried about bills, wife, job, or child. I am just a kid. With kid worries and kid dreams and kid thoughts. Taken back to a time when my biggest worry was what my brother was going to do when he finds out I hid tacks in his bed to get him back for pushing me out the front door naked while the neighborhood kids played baseball out front.

Yes, these are powerful memories.

Thanks for the memories.

-CHefdino-

What is wrong with this picture??? Absolutely Nothing.


On this day my daughter and I decided to walk on the beach at Emerald Isle, North Carolina. Yes that is me, CHefdino, hairy chest (actually I am covered in hair like some sort of dwarf sasquatch) and all. My family and I were down at the beach to witness my two friends, Jeff and Leslie, tying the knot. My daughter was having the time of her life in this picture. By default therefore so was I. I don't have any pearls of wisdom or, if you prefer, dingle-berry's today. I just wanted to put up a picture of a happy time. These things happen all the time. Happiness is where you find it.

I just happen to find it in the smile of my three year old daughter.


I hope you enjoy the scene as much as I enjoyed living it.


-CHefdino-

What I am entitled too?

Everyone comes into this world with certain rights. What those rights are depend on where you live. This is a fact of life. I cannot tell you or anyone else everything you are entitled to. The only ones I know for sure is this. You are entitled to try to make the best of what ever environment you find yourself in. And you are also entitled to lay down and die.

that's it.

that's all anyone is truly entitled to. Not love and happiness. Not financial success. Not the air you breath nor are you entitled to the clothes on your back. Not anything truly tangible.

And yet everyday people believe that they are entitled to all of this and more.

What gives people this sense of entitlement??? That is the million dollar question. Today's average American makes more money and has more physical objects then ever before in American history. And yet that same "Citizen" has done the very least in order to maintain that standard of living. Your average 30 something has not fought in any world war. He doesn't fight to maintain any personal freedoms nor has he fought to keep the industries (that keep our standard of living so high ) that are leaving at a record rate from leaving this country. He complains about everything but has not fielded a "REAL" solution to any of our societies woes for at least a generation. His current solution is no solution.

You want a good example of this?

How about Oil Processing Plants???

The current administration as well as the big four oil companies say the problem is not oil supply. It is oil processing facilities. We ( THE US OF A ) don't have enough to handle the demand for gas. We have the property to provide. We have the unemployed to staff it. We have the engineers to design it. And we have the high price of gas to motivate us.

SO WHAT IS THE DAMN PROBLEM????

No one wants it in their backyard. No one state at this point wants to fight to put one in. Politically this would be fought by the environmentalists to land owners and everyone in between. Why??? Because the average person is not willing to make personal sacrifice in order to help the country as a whole. Never mind the jobs it would provide, the industry brought in to that state, the tax revenue that state could garner through the production as well as potential for inexpensive gas.

"We can't be bothered with this kind of solution right now. Gas prices have gone up and our government and its citizens are to concerned with getting the next vote then solving the real issues. "

Remember "Ask not what your country can do for you but what can you do for your country"????

We have gone to the well for things we are "Entitled To" to many times. Isn't it time to give back?????

THink about it.

-CHefdino-

How do we as a nation justify the cost of prosecuting a Canadian for selling pot seeds???

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11865883/


In the above article on MSNBC.com we find that the U.S. DEA is trying to extradite a Canadian citizen who has openly sold pot parafinalia and pot seeds for over 8 years in Canada. He has not only declared what he does openly in public but has fought for legalization of majiuana as well as declared his job of "Selling Majiuana seeds as well as parifinalia" on his tax forms. This man is not in hiding nor is he trying to hide. He has had a bit of celebrity for his occupation for some time and openly defends his position all over Canada as well as supporting law reforms within the USA.

And the powers that be within the USA don't like it. So what do we do??? We try a sting that doesn't really work. And spend hundreds of thousands of dollars trying to get this gentlemen to the US of A, on lawyers, on travel expenses for staff and lawyers, for everything you can think of for no real payoff.

What is the Payoff???

There is no tangible payoff in my eyes. I am not an advocate of illegal drugs. Having said this if this man was exporting pounds of weed into the US I would feel different. He is not. He sells only seeds. His customers must grow it. That takes a lot of effort, time, and cost. You want to prosecute someone, prosecute the grower. This man is guilty of breaking the law. I believe that. But we and the Canadian Government are guilty of turning a blind eye to his business for 8 years. Lets not spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in prosecution. Lets just contact all the shipping companies that ship his products and force them to stop. If you can't get your product to the customer you can't get paid.


We are already throwing good money after bad in drug wars, real wars, ridiculous scandal research, spin doctors and fake government studies of other government studies. Can we stop the wasteful spending????


A long time ago we had common sense and practical thoughts. Not today. Sense is not "Common". Our thoughts are not "Practical".

"What is in it for me???" This statement leads to everyone wanting a piece of the pie particularly when we are damn sure not entitled to it.


Think about it

-CHefdino-

Dino's Slow Cooked Pot Roast.

ingredients:

2-3 lbs Shoulder roast or roast of choice
3-4 cups Beef stock (Yes you can use bouillon)
3 lbs Small Red potatoes
5-6 Large Carrots
1 Large White or Yellow Onion
1 Tbls Worstershire sauce
1 Tbls Garlic Salt
1 Tbls Dry Marjoram
1/2 Tbls Dry Basil
1/2 Tbls Dry Mustard
2 Packet Brown Gravy Mix

1 Tbls Bacon Grease or Cooking Oil
Salt and Pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 250 degrees. In large Dutch oven or cast iron pan heat bacon grease to smoking. Season roast with salt, pepper, and 1/2 Tbls of garlic salt. Brown the roast in bacon fat.(about 3-5 min per side) While roast is browning, wash and dry potatoes and carrots. Cut carrots in half. Cut potatos in half and set aside. Peel and rough cut onion(chopped to about 1 1/2 inch pieces) and set aside. Combine all other ingredients except the gravy mix. In large lasagna pan or high sided baking pan combine roast, vegetables, and stock mix. Stock should cover meat entirely. Cover dish with plastic wrap and then aluminum foil.

Slow cook roast in oven for 4-5 hours at 250 degree. Remove and let rest 10 minutes.

While roast rests, remove 2 cups of stock from dish. Take 1/2 cup cold water and mix with dry gravy mix. This will keep it from getting lumpy. Add to 2 cups of stock and heat in browning pan until thickened. Pour on top of roast and vegetables. Serve.

You good variation to this is to add 1 1/2 Tbls horseradish to stock mix before cooking.


Enjoy.

-CHefdino-

This D.C. yankee loves North Carolina.

All I can say is " I love N.C." What a great state to live in. Clean air, good schools, great cost of living, plenty of jobs available and now lots of ethnic diversity. We have one of the fastest growing Hispanic populations in the nation. Not to mention large Asian and Indian communities also. I can get all of the ethnic groceries I want at anytime. Who would have thought it???

When I first moved to N.C. every yankee that came to the Raleigh area was directed to move to Cary. I have a feeling that the reason that was pushed on me was that the locals wanted to keep all us Yankee's in one area. ( Local joke Cary=Containment Area for Relocated Yankees) After a little research I realized that I did not like Cary so much. I moved south for a better way of life for my family and myself. Not to move to a neighborhood like the one I left. The "Southern" carolina lifestyle is a relaxed, mind your own business but keep God in mind kinda feel to it. Now I suffer from a lack of zeal for any organized religion. Thats just me. No harm no foul. But here in the South, the religious undertones provide an early start for my child to grasp a sense of ethics and morals that I feel was lacking in the North. I am not saying "Grab your Bible and beat the drums we are having a revival!!" What I am saying is a strong foundation in some sort of positive code of ethics shared by and large by the community is a great place to start. Whatever my child choses to do or worship or follow is ultimately going to be up to her. I am not going to force my beliefs on her. What I will do is provide an outline of belief structure that she can carry around with her for as long as she wants.

Thank you North Carolina for helping me find such a structure in the community. We did not have this in the North.

-CHefdino-

Have we forgotten what it means to be parents???

A big issue around the country is how to protect our children. I could spend quite some time listing all the things we need to protect our children from and still not cover them all so I wont. I will just say we need to protect our kids. Period.

Now if you read the news, you know, MSN or Yahoo news or CNN.Com etc you will see stories on who is responsible to protect them in certain situations ranging from the The Board of Education to Transit Authorities to Airlines to The Authorities etc, etc, etc. "Everyone is responsible for the safety of my child."

BULLSHIT

As a parent "I" am responsible for all aspects of my child's life. Ultimately that is the answer. If your child is an asshole, You are at fault. If your child is a brat, You are at fault. If your child is put in a dangerous situation at school and gets hurt or even worse, You are at fault. If an internet predator finds your child on the net and does horrible things, You are at fault. If your child is attacked on the street, You are at fault. Do I really need to explain??

Ok, I will.

Parenting is not done lightly. It is not easy nor is there an easier way. Once you have a child you have ultimately only one responsibility. That is the well being of that child until that child is no longer a child. Your own self, needs, wants, desires, take a back seat to the well being of that child. Only the well being of your child is truly important. So when I say"You are at fault" I mean it. Did you check out the schools you are sending your child to enough to know they are safe?? Did you research your community you live in?? Are you making sure that the websites they visit or the television channels they watch are appropriate for them?? The answer for 90% of good old US of A parents is a resounding NO. And please don't give me the crap about " I cant afford to live in a better place." Work two jobs. Sell Amway. Set up an E-bay Job. What ever you have to do is what you should do. Period.

Don't Like this. Tough. You had children. Now do your part to make sure they have the best you can provide in the best environment you can provide all the while teaching your child proper social and developmental skills that they need to become good solid, productive adults who will hopefully do the same for their children when and if that time comes.

Thats the gist of "The Job".

Tragedy happens all the time. Did you do all you could do to make sure it doesn't or do you plan on blaming everyone and everything else for your own shortcomings??


Think about it.

-CHefdino

Three Great Ladies in my Life.

This is a picture of three great ladies. The first on the left is my wife Kat. The one on the right is my sister-in-law Lisa. The one in the middle is my daughter Kayla.

My wife is a great lady for all she has shown me in my life. From how to be patient to dealing with very adverse situations. Thank you Kat.

My sister-in-law is also a great lady. She has shown me time and again that when life doesn't give you all the things you deserve, be thankful for the things you have and make the best of them. She always lookes at life in a positive way no matter what. Thank you Lisa. You are not an in-law but a real sister.

And last is my daughter who is also a great lady. Time and time again she shows me how exciting life is everyday. Each day is a new adventure and around every corner lies something new and wonderful. At thirty five I often forget this lesson. Thank you Kayla. You reminded me that life is always an adventure.

To quote an old cliche "Its not the destination, it's the journey."

CHefdino